Are You a Friend?

Are You a Friend?
My Sisters Will Always Be My True Friends. Me (left) Sonya (right) and Kris (middle)

The past few month’s I’ve had to make some decisions, hard but freeing decisions. During my recovery I’ve had time to myself the silence has been cleansing. I’ve been pondering friends, who they are, and how to define them.  These are my thoughts, ‘Good friends’ care for each other, ‘Close friends’ understand each other, but True Friends last forever…beyond words, beyond distance, beyond time.  Some friends we make as children and then lose contact as we grow older. Other friends we make as adults and stay in touch with as long as we are in close proximity to and it is convenient to keep in touch but then over time one moves away or busy schedules slowly pull us apart and we start to lose touch.  Those friendships fall into the ‘good friends’ or ‘close friends’

But then there is that last group of friends – those we call ‘true friends’ – they are those we have a mutual caring for, and we understand each other’s hearts, and where bonds are formed between us that span any distance, and where the bonds run so deep that no amount of time apart or lack of words will change the way we feel about that friend. These are our true friends, and when one comes into your life cherish it!  A strong friendship does not need daily check ups, it doesn’t require togetherness as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friendships will never part.

During challenging times there have been individuals who came into my life I consider my ‘truest’ of friends. They are individuals who saw me through tough times and who always saw the best in me despite any of my shortcomings. They picked me up at times I was down. They stood by me when I felt alone. They taught me things about life and about myself with patience and understanding. They lifted my children’s spirits and made them laugh when they were going through tough times of their own. They forgave me at times when I was grumpy or obstinate. They loved me without judgment and without expectations. They gave me hugs, even at times that I may not have deserved one. These true friends were individuals who were there for me…maybe not always in person or in word every time, but always in heart…and knowing I had them helped me through incredible challenges.

Recently I had a ‘close friend’ who chose to disappear from my life because my morals and standards did not align with our CEO’s.  I made an actually really easy decision to walk away from the company. With that being said, I quickly learned who my ‘true friends’ were.  In retrospect I realize this particular friend did not have my best interest in mind, you see I never changed ‘who I was’ or ‘what I stood for’ anyone who really knows me, knows I am as transparent as it gets and I care deeply for every person I meet. I imagine our paths will never cross again, and that is ok because I am strong in knowing who I am and confident in my decisions–I remember this person saying to me “It’s sad that I will NEVER know who my friends are.”  That statement never set well with me, so every once in awhile I do a reality check on myself.  1. Do you love your life? ✔︎ 2. Are you being true to yourself in all you do? ✔︎ 3. Do you have regrets ✔︎ 4. If you do, are you willing to forgive or ask for forgiveness?✔︎  Truth bomb; If you don’t love or trust yourself, you will never know who your ‘true’ friends are because you are not being true to you, you may be allowing another person to dictate how you feel, or you’re choosing wealth over integrity….don’t hate the people who live free, who want to make a difference in the world and maintain their integrity. I will always choose honesty, authenticity and true love over money….any day any time.

When someone is genuinely your true friend they leave an impression on your heart that will never go away…not with time, not with distance, not even with differences of opinion. True friends secure a place in your heart forever.  I am forever grateful for the true friends in my life, both those who are alive and those who have passed away, thank you so much for being my true friends, thank you for taking the journey with me, thank you for praying for my family and most of all I thank you for allowing me to be me….silly ole’ me.

XOXO Monya Bonbon

 

 

 


Related Posts

My Smile Experiment

My Smile Experiment

March 9, 2010 Mayo Clinic rebooked my appointment that they cancelled last week at the last minute, so I went by myself today. I decided when I woke up that today I would make eye contact with as many people as I could and just […]

This is the face of CANCER

This is the face of CANCER

December 7, 2009 After 6 days of carrying around a bag to collect my hair in, I decided today was the day I needed to get rid of the annoying stuff, it was constantly falling in my face, food, sofa, bed and floor. I made […]



I'd Love To Hear From You