As the American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who…
Tag: Living Happy
So there is something to be said about Frank Sinatra’s famous song “My Way” I’ve lived a life that most people might raise an eyebrow to. I have definitely bit off more than I could chew at times. I’ve had my share of tears and heartache but more than that I handled it my way. One thing I can say that is much different from Frank’s is I live with no regrets.
I have stood tall at times and felt insignificant at other times. I’m glad life hasn’t been an easy road, because through the twists and turns of life I’ve had opportunity to learn I love my life. I celebrate little things, I see somethings that may seem insignificant to other people and find the beauty in them.
I am true to myself and no longer need acceptance from other people. I am always imagining new ways of making life better through my interactions with other people. It only seems natural if I have lived and learned from my mistakes, aches and pains I would want to teach other people what ‘not’ to do…right? Or be teachable enough to learn from theirs. Boy I wish it was that easy, unfortunately we all have a path or journey in life we should be learning from, we own those experiences. I’ve been taught so much about behaviors of the ‘human’ race; we all process trial, error and successes differently.
Through life’s inevitable up’s and downs I’ve had the opportunity to meet some amazing people and build a legacy business through network marketing. In the beginning the purpose for joining was to expand my circle of friends. When we became empty nester’s I needed the interaction with other people. I soon found out not all companies are created equal. After four years with a company I thought I knew, loved and trusted the direction of they chose to take was not in alignment with my personal beliefs….remember I live with no regrets? I could not continue to recruit friends, family or strangers into an institution I no longer believed was going in the direction I wanted for my journey in life.
I have now aligned myself with some wonderful people who have taught me more in a couple of months about business, staying congruent and the best part…..I have seen my blood work change for the good. Bottom line…….I did this all My way, even when it wasn’t a popular thing to do, or friends and family rolled their eyes at me. Staying consistent with who you are, being true to yourself and listening to the inner voice that tells you ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is essential for living a happy and productive life. Do it your way.
So many people have made this remark to me since my book was published “You know it wasn’t your fault right?” The truth is, yes now I know that, but at the time I thought it was all my fault.
It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t protected from getting hurt at the hands of an adult.
It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t told how much I mattered, and what my individual worth was.
It wasn’t my fault I had no voice, or that I was powerless and didn’t know how to say “no.”
It wasn’t my fault I didn’t now where to draw boundaries, or how to protect my heart, mind and body from being crushed.
It wasn’t my fault the people who should have been protecting me, and guiding me were too involved in their own lives to keep me safe.
I grew up without knowing where to draw the line between abuse and love, actually I never felt love and because of this I allowed other’s to hurt me, when really all I ever wanted was to feel unconditional love.
None of that was my fault. Growing older and becoming a woman I learned how to let myself feel anger, disappointed, and trust by allowing those emotions to be real.
I think it’s important to let yourself be angry. You should be angry that you were never told how much you were worth. That you never protected yourself because nobody ever protected you. It’s important for you to know you did not allow people to violate you. Those lines should have been there but never were because you weren’t taught how to draw those lines in the sand.
Because I wasn’t taught how important I was, and how much it I mattered it took cancer for me to understand how much I love life, and how to find happiness. I do this by bringing joy and happiness to other’s, I serve everyday someone who needs love or simple remembrance that people do care.
I needed to first let the anger rise within me. Allow myself to cry tears of rage and grief for all I had lost. So much was taken from me – other people look life, light and fun from my life–those things I can never get back, but I can choose today to move forward and be happy.
My advise to those who have felt the feelings of abandonment is to use that anger to fight for yourself in the way you should have been fought for. Use it to reclaim all that has been taken, to reclaim your heart. Let the anger become a fire that rages in your soul and burns away the tarnish that others have left upon you. Let the flames consume you, let them purify you, let them cleanse you and refine you until all that is left is the beauty of who you really are.
Your worth is great. You were created by the same hands that created the galaxies and the stars and the oceans and the storms and the wind that rages across the four corners of the earth. You were breathed into existence, not by accident, but with purpose, with promise. The entire universe listens just to hear the beating of your heart and the whisper of your breath. You were meant to be here. You were supposed to be here.
You were wanted here, you have a purpose, find it and run with it.
You are worthy of the kind of love that nurtures your soul and heals your heart. A love that sees your value and worth and believes in you. A love that is strong and kind, loyal and true. A love that brushes the hair from your eyes and kisses your forehead and gives you its jacket when you are cold and holds your hand when you are scared and draws you into its arms and doesn’t let go until it stops hurting. You are worthy of someone whose feet are anchored; who loves you when you radiate with the light of the moon and stars, and loves you even harder when you are cast in the shadow of your own cold sorrow.
You are worthy of a love that will never, ever hurt you, the moment you come to know this truth, is the moment nobody can ever take that away from you again.
XOXO Monya Bonbon
I’ll never forget the day I delivered each one of our four children. Each have their own delivery story, each came with a sweet scent of perfection, and a Heavenly presence. Those moments seem to have flown by, but I remember them so vividly like it was yesterday.
Frenchie and I had four children under the age of six, and I was overwhelmed. Just as one baby would go down for a nap another would wake up for play time. More than an hour or two of consecutive sleep was un-heard of. Before I knew it two were in school, then the third followed soon after. Knowing I was not going to have anymore children I tried to enjoy every moment I had with my youngest, Haleigh. We went shopping, out to lunch, played at the park and enjoyed watching movies together. The day I had to put her on the bus for her first day of school, I followed the bus to make sure they arrived safely. When I saw the route the bus took, I decided I could do it much better and have more time with her. From that day forward I took all my children to school and picked them up.
Now fast forward many years, they are all married. The three oldest have children of their own and my baby Haleigh is giving birth to her first child in November. The circle of life is happening, I never thought I’d love life this much–but I do.
In a nut shell, my advice is enjoy every bit of peanut butter and jelly that gets smeared on their faces, chairs and tables, leave the dishes one night and read a book to them, snuggle them tight, say I love you as much as possible and write it all down. Life moves so quickly, we cannot get it back look forward to tomorrow, lower your voice and soften your heart to the things that really won’t matter in a month or a year.