Tag: Joy

Parenthood

Parenthood

I love this picture of Frenchie (Papa) with 5 of the 7 grandchildren–the joy on his face was priceless.  Most of you have probably heard this “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.” I think this is a true statement My birth father was not around when I was a child, but I believe if he could do it all over again, he would have been an incredible dad. I have been blessed with some very good examples in my life of strong courageous men who didn’t have much to offer financially to their children, but provided them with love, and kindness. They taught their son’s to work hard and play hard, and taught their daughter’s to be bold, brave and to go after their dreams.

I have three son in-laws and a son who I’m proud of, they teach their children to go forth in faith-learn to laugh and enjoy life; but also give them the discipline they need to grow to be righteous and live with  integrity. Children have a respectful amount of fear for their father’s because they don’t want to let them down, their father’s are the super hero’s who they strive to become; a healthy amount of respectful fear is ok. I was a stay at home mom; I remember when my children were little they were so sick of me they’d run to the door to greet Eric yelling “Daddy is home” by the time they were teens it was a different story when the garage door opened and they knew he was home they scattered like mice to make sure they had homework done, rooms cleaned etc.  This is not to say Eric was a bad father or that they didn’t love him he told them everyday how much he loved them and still does but it’s that ‘respectful fear’ I’m talking about.

My oldest daughter Kayla and her husband Jeremy are  amazing, as I watch them raise their children with Autism I am in awe at times and wish I would have lowered my voice and softened my heart more. Blake, my only son has a good mixture of myself and his father in him. I’ve never seen a daddy more interested in his little daughter as he is, if I am watching little Weslie, Blake calls for me to do a Facetime or asks me to send pictures. His wife Chloe is a doll, I love her so much and am eternally grateful she is part of our family; very funny, smart and knows how to communicate, something I struggled with at her age. Kaitlyn, will forever be Phoenix’s and Archie’s mom….they love her and I love watching her, she is the most like me. When I watch how well she is with her boy’s I once again wish I’d done somethings different. Apparently it is true dad’s are their son’s super hero’s just ask Phoenix, he’d rather be with his dad than anyone else in the world. In his eyes’s Brian can make no mistakes and can do anything.  Haleigh is our youngest daughter, she has a son with her husband Scott they are such patient, soft spoken parents. Of course I understand little Ellis is only 8 months old but I’ve never seen them upset or filled with anxiety like I was with my first child. I look forward to seeing the personalities of all my grandchildren grow as they watch their parents and learn from example.

The truth is, I have no regrets every moment of motherhood I’ve loved.  Did I make mistakes? Ummm…YES I did, many, but right now at this moment I am in love with being a grandparent. I can’t have a ‘do over’ so I go from here, I still make mistakes, say too much, react too quickly then say “I’m sorry” Parenting is hard, according to the handbook I received when they were born I did everything wrong; but all my children are perfect to me, they found their way I did much better than my mother did and they will do even better….it’s the circle of life.

Monya Bonbon

 

His Grace

His Grace

 

So Much To See

I remember taking this picture in 2015, just a year after being diagnosed with facial paralysis. Frenchie took me on a trip between surgeries; funny I can’t remember where we were. We’ve been on so many trips together trying hard to mark everything off of my bucket list. I do recall looking out of the window far above the clouds and seeing this breath-taking view; it was at this moment I realized I have taken so much for granted; our world is beautiful so many nooks and crannies we will never explore, but just knowing they are out there gives me hope and a sense of a spirit much larger than my soul can imagine.

There is so much to see in this beautiful world of ours; but my favorite place to be is with my family, there is no other joy and peace I feel watching my children grow into happy, healthy adults who cherish one another and understand the importance of time, time together making memories to last for eternity.

I started back to work yesterday, it was physically painful however I’ll take the pain over depression any day any time. There is something about being through so many surgeries, procedures, pokes and tests that make me wonder once again what I am supposed to be learning.  I am well aware of all my weaknesses-I say damn and hell every once in a while, I judge people when I should be reaching out to them, I’m simply not perfect and not ready to die. I try daily to be better than I was the day before and so often fail in my attempt; but one thing I never do is leave my Heavenly Father out of my daily routine. He guides me and helps me to become the woman I strive to be.

This was me on May 1st, 2014 I thought I was so happy, look at my smile, my beautiful teeth. Oh how I loved to smile.  I’d finished chemo, radiation and several surgeries and was well on my way to being ‘ok’ with living with cancer. I see some wrinkles, but mostly I see joy in my eyes for the happiness I felt being alive. Then life came to a screeching halt and I was once again faced with an unfortunate life altering transfiguration.

On May 15, 2014 this was me lying in the Mayo Clinic hospital fighting for my life.  There was a sadness I had never experienced. My life would never be the same, my face would show the sadness and sorrow. There was simply no one on earth who could possibly understand what it felt like to hear my surgeon tell me “I’m sorry to tell you, your face will never be the same again, you need to get used to the new you”

That task seemed daunting and unachievable I didn’t know how I could face a world where physical beauty had become the main focus for so many people. I never realized I was one of those people, I was vain I wanted my smile back I wanted to be normal, heck I’d even take typical. With help from Dr.Lettieri teaching me grace comes from within, I have been able to somewhat come to accept who I am, what I am meant to do here on earth; and it is definitely not to be a fashion model. My Heavenly Father has so much more in store for me and I’ve come to understand true authenticity and absolute beauty comes from knowing who you are and where you are going, it comes from first loving yourself no matter the circumstances life throws at us.  It certainly sounds easier than it actually is to do, I have spent 3 years working on myself, studying and trying to teach our  youth to love their life. If all of us could see ourselves through our Father in Heaven’s eyes I think we would be surprised to know what He sees in each of us; I believe He knows my heart, He feels my pain but mostly He understands I am trying everyday to become a worthy woman of infinite worth in His eyes.

This was me just a few days ago at Shane Wright’s luncheon after his funeral; I love this picture with Archer, still bruised and swollen looking at this picture I realize my grandchildren will never know the face or person I used to be they only know Bonbon exactly how I am today, and they love me unconditionally as I do them. The woman in this picture has come a long way with still so much to learn about herself and other’s. There is no better Hope than knowing I have many years to learn and teach other’s how to cope with unforeseen circumstances and to accept to love themselves in away no one on earth can understand. I am truly blessed and Amazed at the grace He so fully offers all of us.

Monya Bonbon

See You Later

See You Later

To say it’s been a whirlwind of emotions the past 6 weeks would be an understatement. This is Shane Wright, his son Brian is married to my daughter Kaitlyn. Shane celebrated his birthday on May 24th with his wife children and nine grandchildren; two of which we share grand parenting with. Kaitlyn said his birthday was so fun, they played and danced together ate pizza had ice cream and cake. Shane sat watching his children and grandchildren laugh and play together from his own words “We’re told by Heavenly Father we may have joy in our posterity. Nothing compares to the joy that I feel when our family is all together. It’s the purest joy a parent can have. My heart is full” On Wednesday May 30th this giant of a man left this life to live with his Heavenly Father.

Shane’s posterity, such a beautiful family.

The first time I met Brian I knew he was a special man; most parents think their daughters are too good for most men but Eric and I are were so impressed with Brian we were afraid Kaitlyn would scare him off. When Brian asked Eric for Kaitlyn’s hand in marriage, he actually told him no twice. Poor Brian was living in Utah and chose to drive to Arizona twice to get Eric’s approval. I explained to Eric it is always hard on father’s to finally hand their daughter’s over to another man for them to care and love for, but it was time. We had the opportunity to meet Shane and Dee Dee Wright before they were married and immediately our hearts were bonded to them. Kaitlyn and Brian were married and had their wedding reception in our backyard in November of 2009.  I was diagnosed with cancer during their engagement and started chemo therapy just two days after their wedding; I will never forget Shane and Dee Dee’s constant prayer’s on my behalf.

Shane (grandad) Phoenix and Dee Dee (Mimi)

Over the years and two grandchildren later we grew to love this man and were so proud to have the opportunity to co-grandparent with he and Dee Dee.  Shane was a stone mason, he had an eye for perfection when it came to his profession. He also raised his children to have respect for other’s and to share the knowledge they had of the Gospel of Christ. The last time I spoke to Shane he was visiting in Arizona and had helped pick out stone for a fireplace in Haleigh and Scott’s home. We stood outside next to his truck while Phoenix played and ate snacks from his granddad’s truck.

He asked me how I was doing and told me he never misses a day of praying for me. Then he looked at me and said “Perspectives change when you know you are not going to be on earth forever, we have truly been blessed.”  Shane knew he had some time left but was also realistic enough to know what he was diagnosed with was incurable and unless he was struck by lightning or hit by a car, he would definitely die from his diagnosis.

It was evident when I sat in the Chapel at his funeral and watched over 300 people sit and listened to his family speak of Shane and his incredible accomplishments in life; and when I say accomplishments it had nothing to do with money. Shane helped youth, many young boys grow and become fine men, husbands and fathers. They testified of Shane’s undying sacrifice’s as he served others unconditionally.  I don’t believe Shane had an enemy’s, everyone loved him. His smile and attention to details lit up any room he entered. Each and every time Eric and I saw him he looked at us in the eyes and asked about us, how we were doing, how each of our children and grandchildren were–simply put he cared genuinely for people.

When Brian spoke at the funeral, he was speaking about his father but was describing himself in every way. I love Brian, I love everything about him we are blessed to have him in our family and know he will miss his father deeply but will carry on the traditions of his father and pass down his work ethic and compassion for other people to his own children.

I will miss Shane and still have a hard time believing he is gone from our lives for now; so until we meet again I will do my best to be a good person, share memories with Phoenix, Archer and their future children about the amazing grandad they had.  I never say good-bye so see you later Shane

Monya Bonbon

Who Have You Helped Today?

Who Have You Helped Today?

I haven't always been interested in the well being of other people, I mean not to a point of making it an intentional part of my day. I wonder why it sometimes takes cancer, or a tragedy to help us understand the worth of every soul is great in the sight of God?  Is it even possible for us to comprehend the Love our Father in Heaven has for us? The only feeling I can think of that would even come close to that type of unconditional love is the love a parent has for their children.

I remember a night during chemo, I was so sick I'd lost so much weight and literally wanted my life to end. I laid on the floor begging and pleading for the Lord to take it all away. That didn't happen, but since that long dreary night I learned a lesson--He has the power to take away all of our heartaches and pains, but He doesn't because He loves us that much, He wants us to learn then go out and teach others. I imagine when He see's his children going through difficult times He wants to take it all away, I know when my own children have suffered I've wanted to do everything I could do to make it better for them.

Today as I drove into my subdivision toward home, a woman waved me down. She seemed to be frantic, I rolled down my window and asked her what was wrong. She replied while pointing "Do you know that young man?" I looked over and face down in the rocks was a young man covered in dirt. Not knowing if he was dead or alive I touched his shoulder and asked "Can I help you?" He didn't move but I could tell he was still breathing, again I gave him a little shove to wake him up when he turned over he was frothing from the mouth, he was not in good shape. I believed he was overdosed on something. All around him were graham crackers and ginger ail cans.  I asked him "What is your name? where do you live?" His response was "Don't call the police I don't want any trouble." I finally convinced him to give me his mother's address so I could go get her. To avoid the police he decided to walk to Jack in the Box and I would have his mom meet him there.

My heart was aching for this boy, I didn't know how his mom would take the information but prayed the whole way to her house that KC would get to the Jack in the Box without any harm. When I rang her doorbell I asked her "Is your name Susie and do you have a son named KC?" Obviously this boy had a history of running away. She flung the door open ran out to my car yelling "No not my boy, please God let him be ok"  On the ride there I explained what had happened. She wanted me to drive her by the place where I found him, then quickly we went to see if he was were he promised me he'd be. He was in such bad shape a part of me thought he wouldn't have made it a mile down the road without getting hit by a car.  The embrace between mother and son is not something I will soon forget. He could barely stand, he collapsed into her arms.

We made it to a table outside and I sat across from him, he looked at me and said "I just want to die, why didn't you just let me die?" My eyes filled with tears that drizzled down my face. His mom started to talk but I took my hands and lifted his head to look into my eyes, I wanted him to hear me I mean really hear what I was telling him. She could see I was trying to connect with her son and she remained quiet for this part. With watery eyes I told him "I understand how you feel....." he cut me off  in sobbing tears "How could you possible understand?" My heart was racing, I said a little prayer in my head asking Heavenly Father to please give me the words to help this boy. "I may not know exactly what you are feeling, but I do know what it feels like to want to be dead." "Why would you want to die?" "Well, KC I was abused growing up, physically mentally and sexually I didn't want to live through that. Then a few years ago something most would say is horrible happened to me, I was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer-it forced me to see life through different lenses. I will forever be grateful that I was able to forgive, now I look intentionally everyday for people who need help. KC do you believe in God?" He began to cry uncontrollably then said "Yes why?" "Do you know that God wants you to be happy?" What happened next penetrated my soul and I will never forget it. He looked me in the eyes and said "I was sexually abused" a gasp of air came out of me, I was not prepared to hear that from him.  His mom looked at me with tears, grabbed her son and continually said "I'm so sorry that happened to you."  I explained that none of what happened to him was his fault he was only 14 years old, but until he can get some help he will always be living the nightmare that man put him through. I could see he was delicate he started to hallucinate  I suggested we get him to the hospital. His arms were so swollen, the needle tracks showed me the battle field of his life. When we got him to the hospital he asked "Does God Really want me to be happy? I mean do you really mean that or are you saying what you think I want to hear?"  Once again I held his face in my hands looked him straight in the eye and said "I KNOW He wants you to be happy, and I also know He guided me to you today." KC will enter a rehab facility tomorrow and I promised him I'd visit.

I have had sleepless nights, unimaginable pain and yes thoughts of death. Now that I am where I am in my life, all that I have learned and am still trying to understand I would never trade my life for any one else's. The Lord has been preparing me for moments like the one I had with this young man. I have been given beautiful opportunities to see miracles happen in the lives of people who want to listen.

Recovering from this last procedure I endured has been really difficult. I wake up in a sweat dreaming about the unnecessary trauma I experienced-the people who have reached out to me are little angels the Lord sends, they don't even realize the relief I get, the joy I feel from a simple "how are you doing?" So forget about making millions, or following celebrity lives--sit with someone who needs you, listen with your heart and judge no-one. Don't let people take advantage of you but be open to making friends with someone who needs you. In the end of your life you want to know you made a difference in a life. Love yourself enough, be confident in who you are then go share it.

XOXO Monya Bonbon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness at every Age

Happiness at every Age

I believe some of my best days are yet to come. There are researchers who say levels of happiness are different as life changes throughout our lives.

Depending on what was happening in our life at different ages, happiness kind of follows a U-shape curve as we age. Your peak years of happiness seem to be not only when you are young, in great health and having fun but also again in retirement when your mind and body may not be as sharp and fit but you have a new outlook and want to make every moment count.

I love that our Heavenly Father created us all equal but with different spirits and gave us choices. What makes one person happy or content may be different from what makes someone else happy and elated. Throughout life our expectations of happiness change, as my journey from one phase of life to the next I’ve definetly matured and learned from all my experiences.

Most people in their 20’s are motivated by school, involved with causes and comparing themselves to other’s their age. My 20’s were filled with heartache and disappointment. Balancing dating and career choices can be challenging. My advice; focus on what you can control-doing your best. Try getting into the best school for YOU, and start a good job. Ignore what you cannot control–don’t compare your ‘likes’ on Facebook or social media to what everyone else is doing…just be you the beautiful flower you are beginning to bloom into.

In the third decade of life many people have established themselves in careers and began families. If you choose to experience a career or become an entrepreneur or being a wife and mother be the best at it as you can. Pray for patience. In a career, George Vaillant M.D. says there are four C’s to finding joy. “Find something you are competent at, committed to, compensated for and contented with.” As a young mother I made so many mistakes, and compared myself to mother’s who I believed were completely out of my league of knowledge in parenting.
Now looking back my advice would be this; it’s important to be sure you’re being valuable to someone else, maybe your children or husband. Form and cultivate relationships, not just at work but in all aspects of your life, where you have something to offer that someone else wants.

When I turned 40 I felt I was in the best health of my life, eating right, working out everyday and enjoying my teenagers. For some people it’s a balancing act to take care of their children and care for their aging parents. I didn’t have the pleasure of caring for my mother as she aged, so I concentrated on my family life. The mothering ‘guilt’ was gone I felt I had done well at raising intelligent beautiful children. In my 40’s I began to understand a little about happiness, I was more calm and peaceful. My story is not quite typical, as in my late 40’s I was diagnosed with breast cancer, but for the typical person in their 40’s it’s a time of self assurance, finding joy in what they have accomplished in life thus far.

Now I am in my 50’s–I read one time that the younger generation believes when you wake up on your 50th birthday you suddenly want to move to a small village in Costa Rica to open up a dog shelter…..ha ha, if my family is reading this they will laugh because that is that last thing on earth I would do–no matter what age. As funny as that is, it’s simply not my reality. I have always been someone’s mom, or Eric’s wife. I have had to redefine myself seek out new hobbies, try new things. I’ve had to learn to not compare my wealth to the health I had in my 20’s. I now realize I don’t get everything in life, but I’ve managed to accomplish quite a bit. I happy on a different level, everyday I thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to experience another sunrise, or the opportunity to play with my beautiful grandchildren. I’ve learned I am enough, I am strong, brave and compassionate. I am celebrating the small miracles I see in my life and look forward to exploring more of who I am. I listen to my heart and ask for help through prayer. I love my life right now, I’m true to myself and work hard to serve others.

I am looking forward to doors opening up for me as I move into my 60’s and beyond. Above all my family means more to me than ever before. I have faith and hope for a future full of pure joy.

XOXO Monya Bonbon

Thought Project

Thought Project

I’ve heard that the happiness in your life depends so much on the quality of your thoughts. I believe this is so true. For many years I was fed negative words I felt worthless and unimportant. The damage was incredibly damaging, I’ve taken the past seven years to transform my thinking by listening with my heart and acting on impressions I receive to help other people.

The brain is such a powerful organ, everyone likes to hear they are wanted, needed and important. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance to change my thoughts not only towards myself but to reexamine why people say and do the things they do.

I realize now if we all knew just how powerful they are we’d probably never think a negative thought again. I think the primary cause of un-happiness usually has nothing to do with the situation but more about your thoughts about it.

Recently Eric and I visited a few countries Italy, Croatia, and Greece. The day was absolutely beautiful, as I waited for Eric I watched a young girl (maybe 4 or 5) she played joyfully with a small souvenir her parents had bought for her. The look on the girl’s face was priceless as she counted in her cute English accent’ the times she was able to flip the ball into it’s carriage. Suddenly a grumpy old man walked passed just as she flipped the ball into the air, it happened to hit the man on the arm. He quickly turned to the little girl and said “You brat, how stupid are you?” What came next was amazing to watch. She turned and said “Sorry to have bothered you, I hope the rest of your day is better.”

In my opinion this little girl was taught very well, manners matter and she knew it. What the man said to her didn’t seem to penetrate her brain as it did mine. She continued on with a smile
she wasn’t hurt in the least by this immature, ignorant man. She realized it was his problem, she apologized and went about her business.

Changing thought process’s is very difficult, but it can be done. I’m working on it, everyday I watch and learn by the experiences around me. Is the situation really the problem? Or is there an opportunity to learn and grow? Thoughts lead to purpose–with purposes it helps us go forward with action–we know actions turn to habits–most habits decide our character, and character helps define our destiny. One thing I try to do everyday is for every negative thought I have I put money in a container, then at the end of the year I will give this to a charity of my choice. I am getting really good at releasing those negative thoughts before they enter my head and replacing them with positive ones, soon I will be replacing the negative thoughts with the positive and have a much larger amount of money to give.

Monya Bonbon

In a Nut Shell

In a Nut Shell


I’ll never forget the day I delivered each one of our four children. Each have their own delivery story, each came with a sweet scent of perfection, and a Heavenly presence. Those moments seem to have flown by, but I remember them so vividly like it was yesterday.

Frenchie and I had four children under the age of six, and I was overwhelmed. Just as one baby would go down for a nap another would wake up for play time. More than an hour or two of consecutive sleep was un-heard of. Before I knew it two were in school, then the third followed soon after. Knowing I was not going to have anymore children I tried to enjoy every moment I had with my youngest, Haleigh. We went shopping, out to lunch, played at the park and enjoyed watching movies together. The day I had to put her on the bus for her first day of school, I followed the bus to make sure they arrived safely. When I saw the route the bus took, I decided I could do it much better and have more time with her. From that day forward I took all my children to school and picked them up.

Now fast forward many years, they are all married. The three oldest have children of their own and my baby Haleigh is giving birth to her first child in November. The circle of life is happening, I never thought I’d love life this much–but I do.

In a nut shell, my advice is enjoy every bit of peanut butter and jelly that gets smeared on their faces, chairs and tables, leave the dishes one night and read a book to them, snuggle them tight, say I love you as much as possible and write it all down. Life moves so quickly, we cannot get it back look forward to tomorrow, lower your voice and soften your heart to the things that really won’t matter in a month or a year.

Monya Bonbon

NYC

NYC

Frenchie and I had the privilege of visiting New York City a couple of weeks ago. I was invited by my publisher. Pitching is more like sharing your story-for me it was emotional.

I’m glad I didn’t realize before I went how many authors would be in attendance doing the exact same thing. I really wasn’t concerned until I heard some of their pitches–amazing! Not all are memoirs like mine, some were fantasy, drama, comedy etc. I have said it plenty of times but I am not a traditional writer, I started on a blog, raw and real but with plenty of grammar mistakes. These authors I was surrounded with were professionals–YIKES

There was one particular author that stood out to me, her name is K.M. Langdon the name of her book ‘Unsealed’. Her amazing story was original, true and emotionally charged it left me wanting to know more. I’m looking forward to reading it.

Frenchie and I decided to spend a few extra days in the BIG APPLE, we’ve been so many times but still never tire of the majestic architecture, the diversity in food, and of course people watching. Time Square is perfect for this, I could write an entire book on the things we saw, ate, heard, smelled and felt while being in this historic city.

My favorite travel partner is so fun, Frenchie loves to explore, see new things and eat. This makes a great combination for a world traveler–he loves to see it all.

Although I left the pitch fest feeling like it was a great experience, one I would do again if given the opportunity-I let it leave my mind knowing it was a FAT chance my story would be chosen. This week I received a letter from each movie producer, 8 out of the 8 producers loved my pitch and were amazed by my story–they want to know more. So for now I just sit and be patient, continue with my journey in life and trust the process.

Frenchie and I had so much fun in New York–I’m grateful to have his support and love in all I do.

Monya Bonbon

Baby Steps

Baby Steps

I watched as Weslie (my grandaughter) took the first couple of steps then fell down, the beauty of this small and simple task is what happened next–she got back up and tried again. There are so many lessons in this mundane act of learning to crawl before we walk, learning to walk before running.

Small steps toward something, anything worthy of having add up-just keep wishing, dreaming–just keep walking. Achieving dreams is not passive-there is work to be done-that first step has to be taken. No matter what age you are at, or what circumstance you are in–you do have control over making that first step toward something different, something extraordinary, something life changing.

Start slowly if you need to, start with uncertainty, start without a roadmap, start without even knowing when you will arrive. Faith without works is dead–so go forward with faith and hope-look forward and live intentional. Do it for yourself, do it for the thing you long for, the thing you fall asleep dreaming of, and wake up wanting. Remember WHY those things you long for are worth taking those baby steps for.

It is completely possible for one small spark of action on one completely ordinary day to alter the shape of everything that follows-just don’t give up–never stop taking steps forward. Your life will thank you for it.

Monya Bonbon

Joy

Joy

 

I’m not quite sure why my life has been spared, or why I have been blessed with an abundance of heavenly awareness. The only conclusion I can come to is that I know He lives and has a plan for me.

It’s difficult to see other people go through pain and suffering-the same pain I have felt-it takes me back to days of brain fog and confusion. It makes me feel guilty when someone with a far better chance of winning the war than I had is given news of hospice–why? I wish I could answer that question–I wish I could take away the heartache of watching family trying to remain hopeful and optimistic–I wish there was one answer for everyone-the truth is we are all individuals experiencing life and every ‘body’ is different.

I remember the day I decided I was not quite done with my self transformation, I knew there were still infinite cities to visit, brilliant colors to see and chances to consider. I had a dream, I saw myself completely healed and full of joy. I believe there is a difference in being happy and feeling joy–happiness is a choice and is an action word it is contentment, cheerfulness and delight. Joy on the other hand is part of who you are-it’s the emotion evoked by well-being. It has nothing to do with what you own or the circumstance you are in.

In looking back on the highs and lows, there are some moments of clarity and satisfaction– days that were filled with love and other days that were occupied with thoughts of death and despair. What I recognize now is only those days of unconditional love and see that they were everywhere-running through the fabric of my life like threads of gold waiting for me to shine.

I’ve been blessed with optimism and it is true there may never be a more ‘perfect’ time than NOW….and right NOW chooses me-joyfully, completely in return.

Monya Bonbon