Tag: Forgiveness

Memory Of Cleveland Clinic

Memory Of Cleveland Clinic

Every 3rd of July I am reminded of fighting for my life in The Cleveland Clinic. Four years ago today I was in surgery, literally hoping for a miracle. Little did I know the miracle was sitting right here in Arizona, with Doctor Lettieri.

On July 3rd 2014 I was rolled into surgery, Eric gave me a kiss on the forehead as they wheeled me into the operating room. Tears rolled down my cheeks onto the pillow, nurses kindly asked what they could do to help; shaking my head, watching them walk away I knew there was nothing anyone could do. Not even with the best surgeons on the face of the earth, no one could be able to bring my smile back.

The worst was still ahead of me, waking up in the recovery room after an eleven hour surgery I felt my head. It was full of staples, like a train track from one side to the other and down the back of my skull. My ear was pounding and swollen. I just wanted to see Eric and go home; after seven weeks in Cleveland I was depressed, sad and disoriented.

The next day, the fourth of July 2014 is a day I will never forget. No attending’s were in the ICU, the residents were in charge for the Holiday. Pain beyond my belief was surging through my body; a senior resident forgot to put orders in for pain medicine; I thought I would die on that day. I was prepared with letters to my children and dear husband. When the resident did not answer page after page to come to the ICU-I went further and further into a deep dark place, actually wanting my life to end because the pain was so bad. Nurses rubbed my legs and listened to me sing “Be Still My Soul” and “I am a Child of God” over and over again. It was an hour and fifteen minutes the senior resident finally make it to my room, followed behind him were other junior residents. He questioned my pain like I was faking; wondered why I was crying, and asked me too many questions; which I believe now was a senior resident showing off for the junior residents. I was gasping for air I couldn’t speak without trembling, he finally gave me the pain medicine. Even after the pain medicine was in my system my body shook like a baby, composing myself was difficult.

This is one of the junior residents Brendan Alleyne-he came to visit me after that incident and held my hand. The compassion he showed was nothing I will ever forget, I wish I could tell him what his acts of kindness did for my faith in the future of medicine. I’m thinking about him today, Dr. Lettieri is constantly telling me about the ego’s of residents, just like the senior resident I encountered at Cleveland Clinic. They forget who they are serving, I often wonder if he would have treated me different if I had been his mother, wife or child. Thank you Dr. Alleyne wherever you are today, I believe you are caring and sharing for your own patients now and hopefully learned something from this experience that will help you always remember patients are real people, with real families and a story to tell.

XOXO Monya

Parenthood

Parenthood

I love this picture of Frenchie (Papa) with 5 of the 7 grandchildren–the joy on his face was priceless.  Most of you have probably heard this “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.” I think this is a true statement My birth father was not around when I was a child, but I believe if he could do it all over again, he would have been an incredible dad. I have been blessed with some very good examples in my life of strong courageous men who didn’t have much to offer financially to their children, but provided them with love, and kindness. They taught their son’s to work hard and play hard, and taught their daughter’s to be bold, brave and to go after their dreams.

I have three son in-laws and a son who I’m proud of, they teach their children to go forth in faith-learn to laugh and enjoy life; but also give them the discipline they need to grow to be righteous and live with  integrity. Children have a respectful amount of fear for their father’s because they don’t want to let them down, their father’s are the super hero’s who they strive to become; a healthy amount of respectful fear is ok. I was a stay at home mom; I remember when my children were little they were so sick of me they’d run to the door to greet Eric yelling “Daddy is home” by the time they were teens it was a different story when the garage door opened and they knew he was home they scattered like mice to make sure they had homework done, rooms cleaned etc.  This is not to say Eric was a bad father or that they didn’t love him he told them everyday how much he loved them and still does but it’s that ‘respectful fear’ I’m talking about.

My oldest daughter Kayla and her husband Jeremy are  amazing, as I watch them raise their children with Autism I am in awe at times and wish I would have lowered my voice and softened my heart more. Blake, my only son has a good mixture of myself and his father in him. I’ve never seen a daddy more interested in his little daughter as he is, if I am watching little Weslie, Blake calls for me to do a Facetime or asks me to send pictures. His wife Chloe is a doll, I love her so much and am eternally grateful she is part of our family; very funny, smart and knows how to communicate, something I struggled with at her age. Kaitlyn, will forever be Phoenix’s and Archie’s mom….they love her and I love watching her, she is the most like me. When I watch how well she is with her boy’s I once again wish I’d done somethings different. Apparently it is true dad’s are their son’s super hero’s just ask Phoenix, he’d rather be with his dad than anyone else in the world. In his eyes’s Brian can make no mistakes and can do anything.  Haleigh is our youngest daughter, she has a son with her husband Scott they are such patient, soft spoken parents. Of course I understand little Ellis is only 8 months old but I’ve never seen them upset or filled with anxiety like I was with my first child. I look forward to seeing the personalities of all my grandchildren grow as they watch their parents and learn from example.

The truth is, I have no regrets every moment of motherhood I’ve loved.  Did I make mistakes? Ummm…YES I did, many, but right now at this moment I am in love with being a grandparent. I can’t have a ‘do over’ so I go from here, I still make mistakes, say too much, react too quickly then say “I’m sorry” Parenting is hard, according to the handbook I received when they were born I did everything wrong; but all my children are perfect to me, they found their way I did much better than my mother did and they will do even better….it’s the circle of life.

Monya Bonbon

 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

I’ve been asked by several people “How did you learn to forgive?” This question has caused me to really think about the process of forgiveness. I’m not quite certain there is a ‘one size fits all’ answer to this question.

When you are hurt by another person, especially if it is someone you are supposed to love–there is a confusion between doing what is ‘right’ and holding onto every bit of vengeance and anger you have.

For me personally I had to go through the emotions of, hatred, anger, sadness, depression, fear, shame and guilt. Each and every one of these emotions took years to overcome and I took it out on those around me. I rationalized how I felt by saying “He needs to acknowledge what he has done and ask for forgiveness.”

When I finally decided enough was enough, I realized I was allowing the person who offended me to still be in control. I didn’t want my life to be ruled by him any longer. I began by taking time for myself everyday to say out loud “I can forgive you” even if I didn’t honestly feel like I had forgiven I did this anyway. This was not any easy practice many times I stumbled on my words with tears running down my cheeks.

I read a book called ‘The Miracle of Forgiveness” and began to soften my heart. I believe, just like there are different levels of sin, there are also different levels of forgiveness. For example, if someone were to lie or steal from me I could forgive and move forward, I may not ever do business with them but I could accept them in my life. However, if someone where to abuse one of my children or grandchildren, it would take some work on my part but I could forgive them but I would never invite them over for dinner. There has to be a separation sometimes for safety and sanity.

I started to feel sorry for my offender, I even wondered if he had been hurt as a child. Slowly but surely I began to see myself through the eyes of God and knew He loved me and wanted me to heal, completely. The only possible way for me to rebuild my life was to fully forgive. I prayed for my offender everyday, and asked for peace to fill my heart. Remember this was a daily battle I fought for years, this did not come over night.

When I was finally able to let go of the expectations I had, I discovered all the wonderful possibilities I had been shutting out. Instead of living in a dark lonely place, I saw each day as an opportunity to make a change, to shift directions and to get a little closer to the things my heart desired. This was no longer about forgiving the offender. I now had the knowledge of how to do it, this was about my happiness. Once and for all I was able to say “I forgive you”

I think the only advice I can give now is live in the present, do not lose it to past regrets or future worry.

Monya Bonbon

Mother’s

Mother’s

 

What is it about Mother’s that make us celebrate and dedicate an entire day to them?  I loved being pregnant, was sleep deprived when they were infants, frustrated when they were toddlers and spent a lot of time on my knees when they became teenagers.

So, is there a secret to being a good mom? It’s the hardest, most exhausting job I’ve ever had.  I was never interviewed to determine if I met the requirements, I wasn’t given a manual when I left the hospital but I also never questioned the unconditional love I had for each one of my babies.

Did I make mistakes? Yes I did, I made plenty of mistakes, I still do.  Even though my children are now parents themselves I’m still their mother, I will always be their mother yet still there are times I want to be better.

The truth is motherhood is an amazing gift, not a competition I spent too much time comparing myself to other women who I ‘thought’ were doing a much better ‘job’ then I did.  I always dread sitting through church on Mother’s Day.  Every year, every speaker talks about how wonderfully perfect their mother is. I know none of my children can honestly say I was a perfect mother.

This year I loved listening to the stories about mothers.  I finally realize it’s ok to not be perfect, in fact it’s annoying to even try to be perfect.  I am perfectly imperfect and I’m feeling fantastic about it.  Frenchie and I have done our very best;  I have no regrets. Our four children are incredible but it has nothing to do with our parenting skills or lack of.

Each one of our children are unique and talented in their own way, as much as I’d like to take credit for their incredible attributes; I can’t. So to every mother out there who beats themselves up for not being the mom you ‘think’  you should be or could have been STOP THAT– Motherhood is hard for every woman, finding balance in every move you make is gut wrenching at times but at the end of the day if you can say “I did my best today” you’ve done your job. If you feel frustrated and wish you’d done something different, then do it; there is always tomorrow.

Monya Bonbon

 

 

Beauty

Beauty

Tale as old as time? Perhaps, with a few modern changes. I’ve always loved the original animated movie. Kaitlyn was obsessed with watching. She’d wake up every morning, I’d hear the pitter patter of her little feet running as fast as she could to ask “Bu Beez?” I think we watched it several times a day, for over a year.  I thought I remembered the story and beautiful music, especially after allowing Kaitlyn to monopolize the television for days, weeks and months on end. I still love the music however, the meaning behind the plot of the story took on a whole new meaning to me.

The movie will live on forever because the message is about pure love, It’s not about how pretty somebody is, but about someone’s heart and soul. The love between Belle and the Beast is honest, and that makes the film so special. Another attribute I noticed about Belle I hadn’t thought about when my children were younger, is that she has the intelligence, humor,  a special spirit and she’s stunningly beautiful.

She’s an old soul,  she’s a nurturing person. She’s got a lot of compassion and forgiveness in her. And she has her stubborn side too, which makes her fun and charming. When you’ve experienced death in your family, then you realize how incredibly moving that moment was and how truly remarkable it was for Belle to give up everything for her father. It shows how courageous she is.

I left this movie feeling grateful and renewed for hope in the world.  Thank you Disney for re-creating another uplifting, beautiful story.

Monya Bonbon

Imagine

Imagine

In my opinion one of the most powerful words in the English language is Imagine; this single word gives hope to a world that is in so much turmoil. 

Of all the songs John Lennon wrote and performed, many of which have had tremendous impact on our culture, “Imagine” has the one I most resonate with. While its influence reaches across the globe, there are physical representations of it in the two places that most represented home to Lennon. The Liverpool Airport, renamed the Liverpool John Lennon Airport, has the line “above us only sky” painted on the roof. Yoko’s monument to her husband, in the Strawberry Fields section of Central Park, is a mosaic of the word Imagine, where fans gather to mourn him as well as to celebrate his legacy. 
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today… Aha-ah…

Imagine there’s no countries

It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one
                                                 
These words were sung by a somewhat complicated man, in 1971 I didn’t realize how inspiring these words could be. Now, as we fight and are at war with the world over religious beliefs and pride I can see that Lennon had great insight and wisdom to write and sing these words.  Even today I am teary eyed when I hear this song.  I love the hope it gives us.
7 years ago this month I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it has been a wild ride since that day I heard the words “you have breast cancer.”  I am blessed to still be alive and so many other health issues have come since then.  I’ve learned to hear a diagnosis of breast cancer is not a death sentence to all and for me the words that crashed my world were “your face will never be the same again.” I took my smile for granted, I will never smile the same again, I still have no feeling in the right side of my face I have chronic dry eye and am in constant pain even with the weight Dr. Lettieri placed in my eyelid I still have trouble seeing. Expressions that come so natural for other people I took for granted; like raising your eyebrows being able to eat without my eye blinking is impossible; I rarely eat in public places. I am recognized by my new look. Interesting enough I have always been self conscious about my looks and certainly never felt beautiful. Trying to embrace who I am and who I represent in life has been and is an ongoing struggle for me.  I know beauty comes from within, but trying to look in the mirror and be ok with the woman staring back at me has also been frustrating and brought many tears.

Tonight I watched my grandson Phoenix who is only a year and a half old laugh and giggle at silly things he saw and heard.  I love and adore my children and grandchildren, with that love comes a responsibility one I don’t take lightly.  I want them to be happy, not only through their innocent laughter but as they grow I wish for them to find joy in the small things,  to never take anything or anyone for granted.  I hope I can relay through my eyes and my heart their Bon Bon has had struggles in life but that I learned to embrace them, grow from them and then share how to be happy through those trials.

I, like John Lennon hope everyone, especially my grandchildren will live in the moment, I imagine them all living in peace, judging no-one along their path but instead handing them a dollar or two, and asking the Lord to bless them in their trials.  I imagine them having no greed and living true to their believes with integrity.  I wish for them to see ALL men and women as a brotherhood and sisterhood giving, sharing and helping each other. Yes, and just like he was judged as a dreamer I am judged as an optimist–dreaming and optimism are wonderful attributes to have.  As gloomy as the world seems right now we all have so much to be grateful for and as the song says Imagine all the people living as one and sharing one world. I see this happening and often times it is when I am asleep dreaming; so there you have it I’m a dreamer and an optimist.


Surgery March 28th Dr. Lettieri

Surgery March 28th Dr. Lettieri

I had a hard time sleeping last nigh with only 3 hours before surgery I at least tried.  I’m not anxious about the surgery or Dr. Lettieri. Again this morning  doctors and nurses all had positive things to say about him. One nurse said  “Oh My Gosh, I would not have any other trauma surgeon work on me. The anesthesiologist  and his assistant mentioned him as colorful.  I know he tries to come off as a hard butt, I’ve seen it with the residents when they make a mistake.  However, I know Dr.Lettieri and know he wants to teach these young up coming Doctors how to do procedures the right way, the first time.  He explained to a resident at Mayo if he had not known what I was going under sedation for or understand where I’ve been, my history, fears and anxiety this cute little resident could have cut off the wrong ear, or with other patients the wrong arm or leg.  Yes, he was a little rough with him but respectful in showing him the correct way.  At that very moment I knew he was the surgeon for me.

So he gifted Frenchie  and I with his presence explained exactly what he was gong to do, then they talked real estate—blah blah blah. When he left for the surgery room Frenchie sat next me to and held my hand telling me how beautiful I was.  Seriously, my skin has never looked or felt better.  Several nurses hearing him talk about my beauty were so interested and rushed over to our little pod.  He then told them how beautiful they were and how refreshing it was to work with such happy women and men today.  All three of them were shocked, it was as if no man had ever told them. Frenchie snapped a picture with me and them for my blog.

One nurse said when I walked in, there was aura around me, she could feel my energy was one of happiness.  This made me smile without hesitation, she was seeing past my own insecurities. She then asked me to go remove my make-up…very proudly I announced “I don’t have any on” she quickly grabbed by chart and sighed…”you are 53-year-old?” me “yep and proud of it” her ” I want to try it, and even sell it if I can.” me “Of course you can, I will get you a sample just as soon as I can get your phone # and email address. (email sent before I entered surgery).

She then asked me about my journey with my home based business, I told her the truth, my life, just like everyone else is full of trials, most we cannot see.  I started in Network Marketing 2 months before the facial paralysis.  I told her it was an inspired intervention, I’ve now had 10 surgeries with Dr. Lettieri and 31 total in the past 6 year at Mayo Clinic with some pretty special surgeons.  I have never slowed down sharing everyday, magazine, bottles, videos, 3 way calls, etc.. The most important things she loved about me was the Happiness Movement and the Night Cream.  I wish the person who told me “If I spent more time on my home based business than I did on #happyacts for the #marchtohappiness I would be making a lot more money, would have heard this conversation. Home based businesses graciously allows me to do all of them at once. I do, I am always prepared with samples.

I always do at least one #happact a day and feel uncomfortable sharing those on social media, I’ve always been taught acts of kindness should be done in quiet with a reverent heart.  But since it was the challenge  for March 20 being the international Day of Happiness–they asked us all to do an act a day and post it until March 31st.  Surround yourself with like-minded people, I happen to enjoy sharing my business and sharing a cookie or two.

This reminded me of a story told in Church yesterday by a bishop who visits the men in Prison. This young man we will call him John made some mistakes as teenager, drinking, drugs etc, but was finally able to reconcile with God and be forgiven. He moved from where he lived to get a fresh start his brother and wife invited him to live with them in their barn until he could get a job. He did and was grateful to them. His brother’s oldest daughter told them that John had sexually abused her. This went to trial, but during the trial the little girl told her mother she lied, that it never happened. Johns brother and wife never told anyone, and John was sentenced to 65 years in Prison at age 22. He begged and pleaded with family to help, all of them including mom and dad, brothers and sisters wrote to him and encouraged him to forgive. He’s never heard back from his brother or sister-in-law. It took John 10 years in Prison to finally come to a place of forgiveness and allow the spirit to help him survive. Last month when the Bishop visited him, he asked the Bishop to lay his hands on his head and give him a blessing, but in this blessing he wanted the Bishop to ask the Lord to forgive his niece, brother and sister so that they could get on with their lives. I entered the Maricopa County Hospital this morning for my #31 surgery, as my husband and I walked, in front of us was a young boy probably in his 20’s coming from the prison. with guards and shackles on his arms, hand and feet. Tears rolled down my face, looking at Eric (my husband) he immediately thought I was anxious or scared about my surgery, I then smiled at the young boy, said “hello, have a good day” and my husband said “don’t talk to them” My tears were both for all of us who immediately judge, it’s a natural reaction, and for this young boy whether guilty or not, we are not his judge our mission it always to cheer up the weak and show compassion for the wounded. What if that were your child?

#365 Days of Happiness

#365 Days of Happiness

Today is the International Day of Happiness. I began my day by attending church, during our services today the speaker talked about Happiness being a choice.  He asked if any of the congregation ever see people in their car as they are driving, Happy? He said once in awhile you’ll see a person moving and singing to the music but for the most part people tend to drive focused and not looking too happy.

While I believe we all need to be aware of our surroundings while driving, it would also do us well to smile while we are driving, put on happy music, turn and smile at the person next to you the stop sign or light.  I think I will try that tomorrow and see what reaction I get. I asked him after the services if he knew today was the international day of happiness, his response was “No way?” I said “Yes, way!!” We both laughed and he loved it.

After our church meetings I went home and prepared to serve.  I knelt next to my bed and asked for the spirit to be with me today. Yesterday I bought happy face cookies from Sassy’s Cafe.  I took cookies to share with friends and a few neighbors who have really supported and cared for me and my family over the last few years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I headed to the Assisted Living Home, it brought me to tears knowing today marks 730 consecutive days I have performed #happyacts for other people.  I began this happy acts campaign with selfish reasons hoping it would help me get out of my own world of problems by helping another person.  Well, it turns out it has helped me, it has changed me.  I don’t believe it is selfish any longer. Yes, it has definitely helped refine me but I no longer do it out of an obligation to myself, it has now become who I am. I have self branded myself as the happiness queen. Not a bad branding to have considering I could be called a lot worse.

Today these people were gracious and kind, they were delighted when I asked them if I could explain what the International Day of Happiness was.  Then I asked them if I could read to them a few stories from the new Live Happy book by Deborah Heisz, they loved it and didn’t want me to leave. I promised them I would return to visit-and I will, in fact I look forward to it.

There’s a funny thing that happens when you reach an older age….you have no filter, and it seems to be acceptable.  Today it brought me both to tears and laughter. One of them asked me why I ‘waste’ my time sharing my time with other people such as them.  This question not only shocked me but it brought me to tears.  I took her by the hand and told her because she is important to me. I explained how infinitely important all of them are, and the contributions they have made to life mean something to me.  One laughed and told me I was crazy, this is when I laughed,  the other’s said “Don’t mind her she doesn’t understand what she’s saying…..”  I asked them if they had family who visit with them.  They all said “not really, once in awhile we see one of them.” I assured each one of them how special they are, and that they have a choice each day when they wake up to be happy.  They were sad to see me leave, but even more important I was sad to leave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spent the evening like we do every Sunday, as a family surrounded by my grandchildren, and their parents.  We ate dinner and enjoyed cake from Sassy’s Cafe.  We made our own family Happiness Wall and I took pictures (the best we could) with my grandchildren.  I loved everything about today.

 

 

This month we were challenged to post on social media a happy act everyday…..this part was particularly difficult for me to do.  I have always been taught when we serve we do it quietly and with out expecting recognition.  I still do believe this, but for the month of March if wanted to truly make a ripple in the world I think it is important to share those small acts of service.

Kelly Clarkson Performs “Piece by Piece” – AMERICAN IDOL

Kelly Clarkson Performs “Piece by Piece” – AMERICAN IDOL

Well it’s the last season of American Idol, as I listened to the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson’s latest song I couldn’t help but shed a few tears.  So many parallel’s I’ve had with emotions of being abandoned and walked away from.  I never understood, and possibly still don’t understand how a parent can just walk away from their children.  It’s unfathomable to me however, I lived it and I survived it. The powerful part of the story is she was able to take back her life piece by piece. This too I can understand my children have experienced unconditional love from their father, my husband Frenchie. I pray all the people in the world who feel powerless can rise above the insecurities of being abandoned and realize this is not about them….the world can be cruel but we have the power within us to be kind and change the next generation.
 Lyrics to Piece by Piece:
And all I remember is your back
Walking towards the airport leaving us all in your past
I traveled 1500 miles to see you
Begged you to want me
But you didn’t want to
But piece by piece you collected me
Up off the ground but you abandoned things
And piece by piece you filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and no
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece
He restored my faith
That a man can be kind
And a father could stay
And all of your words fall flat
I made something of myself and now you wanna come back
But your love isn’t free
It has to be earned
Back then I didn’t have anything you needed
So I was worthless
But piece by piece you collected me
Up off the ground but you abandoned things
And piece by piece you filled the holes that you burned in me
At six years old and no
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece
He restored my faith
That a man can be kind
And a father could stay
Piece by piece…
Piece by piece I fell far from the tree
I would never leave her like you left me
She will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you I’m gonna put her first
He’ll never walk away
He’ll never break her heart
He’ll take care of things
He’ll love her
Piece by piece
He restored my faith
That a man can be kind
And a father should be great
Piece by piece…

Today I am grateful for families who stay together.
Recker Turns 5

Recker Turns 5

Recker has turned 5, I cannot believe it’s been 5 years.  Our lives have been so generously blessed over the past 5 years, it’s hard to imagine what my life was like before.  We have grown in numbers, our 3rd grandson will be born within a few weeks.  Ezra will be 2 February.

Have I said lately how much I truly love him?  He melts me heart.  I can honestly say there has never been one time I’ve been disappointed or upset with him.  He just lives in a world I wish I could enter for just a few minutes.  I love when he takes my hand and leads me to the candy jar, or to the back door, hoping bonbon will take him out to play, only to be stopped by dad or mom saying “Recker, you can’t go outside right now” usually because he hates to wear shoes.  I love how sweet he is to everyone in our family, and how the boys wrestle with him, and when I say boys I mean Jeremy, Blake, Brian and Scott. Sunday nights at my house are pretty crazy, and Recker loves every minute of it.  I love how he can take his little IPAD and maneuver it better than any of us adults, he loves Disney movies, and try’s to sing along to the Lion King, I love when he covers his ears or eyes when a character in the movie is being cruel or mean to someone else.  He has appropriate feelings for those emotions, some typical kids love those parts the best, but not my little Recker, sometimes he gets a look in his eyes of complete sadness, he understands compassion, he understands authentic love and embraces all he can get from all his aunts and uncles.  I’m pretty sure his hero is his daddy, the rougher Jeremy is with him the more he likes it, sometimes it scares me but it never seems to bother Recker.  I know for a fact his favorite woman in the world is his mom.  He misses her when she’s gone, he searches for her around the house, and he runs from her when he thinks he can.

He now understands so much about his surroundings, and the differences he has.  Kayla has taught us all about teaching him he may be different, but not less.  This sweet little boy has taught me more in his short little 5 years of life than I’ve learned in my almost 52 years.  I could seriously sit and watch him all day long, he cracks me up then brings me to tears within minutes.  I’ve never seen a child so curious, he knows every hiding place in my house and many times since he will be very quiet while we are all searching frantically for him…. he knows what he’s doing.  He may be non-verbal, but this little guy is anything but quiet, unless he’s hiding. A few weeks ago he was upstairs playing in our playroom, well we thought he was anyway.  He was actually in the hall closet up stairs trying to figure a way to climb to the top shelf.  In that closet we have a laundry shoot but he