I Am Blessed
June 19, 2010
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m on auto pilot, just doing the things that need to be done. I don’t want to live that life anymore, it scares me, it scares me to go back there. I want to move forward, be grateful for today, the hours, the minutes are so precious, I hope I will always live them with dignity and respect not only for myself but for others.
Through my blog I have met some incredible people, most of them have contacted me through email. I’m always amazed when it happens because I write so much gibberish on this blog I can’t imagine that someone who doesn’t know me would have any interest in what I have to say, heck I can’t imagine that anyone who does know me would either. These women are from other states and some even from other countries, all of us having one thing in common the stinkin’ breast cancer. Recently I was contacted by a woman who was diagnosed just last week and is flying to Arizona to meet with my team of Doctors at the Mayo Clinic. In fact 3 of the woman I have met this past year have flown to Arizona to meet with my team of Doctors. I am grateful for these women in my life, one of them moved here from New Jersey and does not have any family or close friends, when she was diagnosed she searched doctors on google and my blog came up, she is also using my same team of doctors, she will be undergoing a bi-lateral mastectomy on June 30th. I hope she falls in love with Dr. Peter Kreymerman) like I did. Is it weird that I am looking forward to seeing him next month? ha ha My prayers and thoughts are with my new friend Jodi at this time. It’s scary, the unknown can bring so much fear and anxiety to your life. People who I have met this past year have helped me to see life differently, most of them I have never met, they don’t know how they have touched my life with their faith and strength. A couple of them have passed away, cancer won the battle, I am still trying to process this and make sense of it. Life is strange how it changes so quickly, one day your upset with a child or your husband for something, and in just a moment life changes and those things now seem so silly or insignificant in the whole eternal scheme. I started this blog saying I feel like I’m in auto pilot, what I mean by that is I’ve let myself become immune to life. I’m getting back into my routines and forgetting what is important. I learned to wake up every morning happy to be alive, happy that I have a wonderful husband who has a job and who I know loves me, and children I am so happy with, sisters who I love and adore and extended family and friends who respect and love me. Please, Please help me never to forget, I often plead with the Lord to help me never to forget.
How many people have a friend who would dedicate themselves to helping you fight the breast cancer battle by taking you to every single chemo therapy treatment? I do, Tamy Scheurn took me every time I love her so much I don’t think I can express the compassion this woman has for other people. I want to be like that, I want to give back to so many who helped me when I was sick, those who continue to leave things like flowers, chips/salsa, treats and books on my doorstep. Most of them I don’t even know, because they have taught their children to serve without getting recognition (door bell ditcher’s) ha ha. I LOVE IT !!!! Simply said I AM BLESSED.